Today jack was 12. He had a party and a bouncing castle outside (in the rain). I’m so proud of all my children and how they have handled this last year. Shane would be so proud of them too. How can they understand what happened to Shane when myself and Tony are still struggling to understand how this happened to our funny family.
This morning Lucy (3) burnt her hand on the hob. I cried because i,m such a stupid mother, how did I let this happen? How did I not protect her and Shane? Then I cried because i,m so afraid to bring her to the doctor in case they kill her! I had thrown out the calpol because I had discovered it was made by glaxo smithklein. (The same company that made seroxat and avandia.) So I drove to the shop and bought her a jar of sudocream and a nice big can of 7up to make her feel better. Then I thought i,d google sudocrem to see who makes that. So I cried my eyes out again when I discovered it was made by forest labs.(The same company that has the licence in america to sell celexa/ cipramil and the same drug that killed Shane). The same company that this week had to pay 313 million for illegally promoting Celexa for unapproved pediatric use..Despite the fact that they knew it could kill them. They were also charged with giving kickbacks to physicians that promoted the illegal use of the drugs.I I felt that I had let Shane down and put money in the pockets of forest labs and by association Lundbeck!
So then I got a big bag and cleared out the medicine press of everything, headache tablets,sudocrem, you name it, because I don’t want anything in our house that’s made by these pharmaceutical companies.
Tony’s looking at me as if I have two heads. What happens if one of the lads get a temperature? I DONT KNOW! I just know they can’t be trusted.
Anyway amidst all the crying, Jack and his friends had a great day and the bouncing castle made Lucy all better! And if my sisters are reading this..STOP THE BLOODY CRYING! And im not entirely stupid, if they ever got really sick.. I now know a very good doctor who I would trust with their lives and mine!