Sometimes I wonder as i’m sure other people do, why I actually bother doing this and don’t just get on with my life and forget about what happened with Shane, as it’s something I can’t ever win. Maybe it’s the way I was brought up, to actually believe in right and wrong and the fact that good will always overcome evil and lies will always be uncovered.
We have had plenty of bad press, coming from Irish psychiatry (surprise, surprise), priests who say that “evil should never be blamed on depression” and a couple of journalists who implied that Shane was trying to get “in” with the upper classes!
I’ve been informed that this lovely “Christian priest” had a right ould Sallynoggin rollicking from a few of my mam’s neighbours. As I said to my mam “that priest has nothing to do with the same God I was brought up with” and the fact that Shane never lived in Sallynoggin didn’t really fit the picture, but never let a good story step in the way!
Am I supposed to crawl under my working class rock? Am I supposed to apologise for bringing my children up to look after the people who are less fortunate than we are? Am I supposed to apologise for being brought up in Sallynoggin? NEVER! You won’t ever find nicer people than the people of Sallynoggin and I am so very proud to have been brought up there. ALWAYS! “Up the noggin!”
Shane would have thought it was hilarious because I have never known someone who was as comfortable in his own skin as Shane was. He was so very proud of his granny (and grandad) from Sallynoggin and often brought his friends over to meet them. He thought he was so lucky and it would never have occured to him that some people would have thought less of him because he came from a working class background, he actually thought he had it all!
Shane lived in Dalkey because it was on the dart line and was close to the college he was going to, and because his cousin, his uncle and his aunt had three of the 4 apartments in the house, and the one he was living in was vacated by his aunt and uncle when they moved to Greystones,(my sister and brother in law!)
I have been asked “how can you cope with the things that have been said about Shane?” and I didn’t really know how to answer that one. It took me a while to figure that one out and figure out why it didn’t upset me the way it did Shane’s friends and family, I thought about it for a while and wondered if I was going mad (well madder than I already was), before I figured it out, you can’t hurt a person with a broken heart because the worst thing that can happen has already happened!
I will always be aware that there are other people involved in this and can never reconcile the fact that Shane caused another families heartache, but I will never believe that Shane was capable of violence to himself or another, without the intervention of the antidepressant cipramil.